This post is real life. Baking’s a light topic and Bible study enriching; and then there’s the stuff of life that forces you to stop.
It was nineteen years ago. Nineteen years ago, yet my eyes sting and my jaw tenses at the memory.
Are there some people who so deeply impact your life that the thought of them, decades after they’re gone, still causes an ache in your chest?
Mimi was that person for me.
Mimi’s Smile – Well Made Wellness
When I was a child, she was one for whom the mere imagination of life without her would have me falling apart. Mimi, the joyful one whose smile would spread itself into my far-too-serious-for-my-age mind. Mimi, the Southern one whose salty, fried chicken and Lipton lemon tea would make my mouth water. Mimi, the fragile one who empathized with my physical struggles yet infused me with endurance by the stroke of her arthritic hands through my hair. Mimi, the Godly one who taught me how to pray with relentless dedication and to iron every wrinkle out of my Grandy’s white handkerchiefs with nearly equal fervor. Mimi, the delightful one who dreamed my dreams as dreamy-eyed as if they were her own. Mimi, the remarkable one whose faith was rivaled by nothing – save her fear – and both were gigantic. She taught me how nothing compared to knowing the gift of God’s Word as she obeyed it, shared it, was held together by it and loved it limitlessly everyday.
Three things about grief
1. Grief is weird.
It hits at the most unexpected times and ways. Grief is as unpredictable as the loss that spawns it.
I’ve cried the cries that wrench my gut and make me crumble in a heap, yet force their way up and out long after all tears are shed and dried. I’ve cried the type that demand of the grieved every ounce of strength remaining inside the void left from saying goodbye. Have you?
For me, it’s been three grandparents, Mimi, Grandy and Pawpaw and my baby sister, Joy. Although I was too young to meet Joy, there are moments I mourn the absence her life would have certainly filled in our family. I loved them all more than I realized and thank God for their lives.
See, whether you were blessed with one hour or one million hours with your loved one, their life’s imprint on yours is indelible.
2. Grief is insensitive
The other thing about grief is how savagely it requires the ones you love – those who are still with you on this side of the veil – to endure the agony of goodbye. Grief collides for them, like you, in inopportune and completely unfair ways. Sometimes I struggle identifying which is worse: mourning the loss of your departed or contending for your living loved ones to pull through their own post-traumatic wake of grief.
Time eases the acute agony of grieving, but a chronic, ebb-and-flow ache remains. Grief is synonymous with living and loving.
3. Grief is temporary
In all this, as 1 Thessalonians 4:13 exhorts, I do not grieve as others who have no hope. Because my loved ones and I were followers of Christ, I have take-it-to-the-bank hope that we will be joyfully reunited in Heaven. Grief is temporary, HOPE IS ETERNAL.
Mimi’s highlighted words of 1 Peter 3:11 in her well-worn Bible are poignantly telling. We are only visitors here in this world. Our real home is Heaven. Our hope is an eternal, Heavenly reunion.
Mimi’s Bible – Well Made Wellness
Do you have a special someone who left you with a feast of memories?
Food is inextricably centric to our lives, our upbringings, our memories. Food is a binding thread weaving families together through the cycles of life – weddings, holidays, baby showers, birthdays, breakfast tables and a bowl of soup near the end.
In Mimi’s honor, I share with you her Tea Cookie recipe. She usually had a fresh batch on her kitchen counter beckoning family to devour.
Is anything about this recipe healthy? Nope. Mimi didn’t know much about trans fatty acids or inflammatory sugar. In her day, few did! Healthier suggestions are in parentheses, but the recipe is given in keeping with her traditional preferences.
Sometimes even a never-let-up-eat-clean Health Coach misses her Mimi and her Mimi’s cooking.
Believe the Truth about Loss
The truth is that nineteen years come and go, yet…
Jesus remains the same.
Hebrews 13:8 reassures us of that Truth. Jesus felt grief. He loved and lost. He wept. He poured His heart out to His Father. He moved ahead with His purpose. I want to follow His model.
There is a time and a season for Godly sorrow.
God is near the broken hearted. He bandages their wounds, soothes their ache and gives them strength for one more night’s sleep…for one more step forward. I thought I’d fall apart, without Mimi, but I didn’t. I haven’t. The faith she modeled caused my roots to establish more deeply in God. Instead of pointing me to herself, Mimi pointed me to her eternal source – the Heavenly Father. I’m stronger and better for being hers…and being His.
Weeping may endure for a night, But joy eventually returns.
Are you grieving?
Simply choose the next right response.
Which, the next right response is always pouring your heart out to the Lord.
…And then, do what Mimi would do.
Bake.
With love and butter,
Jessica
MIMI’S TEA COOKIES
- 1 cup Butter Flavor Crisco (half coconut oil, half butter)
- 2 tablespoons milk (may use raw milk or any plant based milk)
- 1 teaspoon almond extract
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar (scant half of cup honey or 15 packets stevia)
- 1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour (freshly milled soft white wheat flour)
- 1/4 teaspoon salt (Real Salt variety of sea salt)
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Cream Butter Flavor Crisco, milk and almond extract in large bowl at medium speed with an electric mixer until well blended. Beat in granulated sugar.
3. Combine flour and salt, then slowly mix it into the wet mixture.
4. Shape dough into balls using one level tablespoon for each and roll them in your warm hands. Place 2 inches apart on an ungreased baking sheet.
5. Bake at 350 degrees for about 10 to 12 minutes. (Cookies will not brown. Do not overbake!) Remove to cooling rack. Makes about 3 dozen tea cookies.
“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5 MEV
Butter flavored Crisco? I never knew that. And, I had forgotten the Lipton lemon tea. I can’t believe it’s been 19 years. But, then again, it’s been 10 years (next month) since my mom moved to heaven. I think I need to get some recipes out and do some baking. I’m suddenly hungry for some cookies. Thanks for sharing, Jess. Another beautiful post. You are truly gifted.
Thank you, Janis. Love you, and I know you “know.” Mimi always had a blue tub of Crisco in her cabinet!
Thank you, from my heart, thank you. You’ve captured the essence of Mimi and of the grief that from seemingly nowhere suffocates the one grieving. Best of all, you shared the hope in Christ Jesus. You know how deep my love is for you, Jess, and that it will never change. Once my new kitchen is functional, let’s make some tea cookies!
The apple did not fall far from the tree with you and Mimi. You’re such a reflection of her goodness, and you love your family as personally and selflessly as she did. Yes, let’s bake!
And tomorrow is the day I danced at her funeral! She said she wanted me to You KNOW how she was celebrating…her fist few days to sing God’s parise before the throne…what a glorious time for her, and she so wanted us to celebrate her home going. But our hearts…they missed her presence so. You have caught her essence, Jessica. Thank you for posting this.
Did you know that she had over fifty relatives – ALL her 3 = 3 children, ALL her 12 grandchildren, and all her great grandchildren–5 at that time. Benjamen never knew her and Christian was only one – add neices and nephews and great-nieces and nephews—..ALL those people loved her and wanted to be near her so much that they lived withing ONE MILE from her little home on Tenth Street. While she was still here, I thought to get that information to Oprah. I thought it was quite remarkable!
Mama’s love was so huge. And it never mattered what you’d done to disappoint her…sending her always to her knees. I remember spending the night with her in the hospital through one of her eight surgeries in the last twenty years of her life…during the night her talking to God woke me. She,begged for Him to take her home, and it wrenched my heart.
I went to her side and held her hand, begging selfishly, “Mama, please go don’t go. Who will pray for me?” And I NEEDED her prayers.
Nineteen years is but taking a breath, and the love never ends. Oh, what a joy to know she’ll be waiting on the shores of the Crystal Sea when we arrive…each of us that she loved with a love that was more than a love :Thank you Jessica Lavonne for sharing today. You are so much like her and I love you intensely.
I love how she made everyone feel like they were her favorite 🙂 She was a crazy lady. I remember driving beside her slowly on Westbrook, saying in a spooky voice, “Hey, Lady, you want a ride?” She’d been to your house and was walking home. She laughed and told me I was crazy and of course she wanted a ride. But every time she reached for the door handle, I’d drive forward then stop like I was waiting on her repeating, “Hey, Lady, want a ride?” She’d catch up and reach for the handle again, and I’d speed ahead. By the time I pulled into her drive, she could hardly stand up for laughing. And I was, too. We then went inside and and a glass of her lemon tea.
Remember in the end days how she kept peanut M&Ms in an emptied sherbert bowl? Grandy always kept her in M&Ms for all of us 🙂 She is indeed a Lady of Legacy…that’s the name of the book about her I’ve been working on so that she’ll be around on it’s pages for her great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren to read and know how special she is. But they’ll know when they all get to Heaven! What a day of rejoicing that will be!
Oh, this made me laugh!! She was a hoot! With love and butter, Jess
What an encouraging post! My mother just went home to Jesus, and I constantly think how we don’t grieve as the world does – but we DO grieve. Especially loved: “nothing compared to knowing the gift of God’s Word”!!! Thank you!
Becky, thank you for your kind words. I’m so sorry your Mama passed away and that you’re in the thick of grieving. May the Lord be near and continually comfort you. With love and butter, Jess
Becky, please know tha I am praying for you that God’s love and peace are as tangible as a warm blanket on a cold night. Lean into the grief, and experience His grace and peace. I’m sad with you as you walk through this season. May God is near the broken-hearted, and His hope is sure. Blessings…
Beautiful post. Having lost several people dear to me, I can testify to the truth about grief that you have shared.
Ann, thank you for taking time to read and comment. Grief is something we all share, isn’t it? May God bless you! With love and butter, Jess
This is so sweet, Jess. I always loved walking down to Mimi’s to play and eat her yummy food and talk to her. She would always listen intently when we talked about school, church, friends, and life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and the recipe. Good memories. I’m so grateful we’ll see her and our other loved ones again!
Lovely post and advice on grieving.
Thank you, Stacy, for taking time to read and comment. I so hope you were encouraged and comforted by the article. With love and butter, Jess, The Bread Believer
What a wonderful heart felt post. Your Mimi seems like someone i would love sitting in the kitchen with. I’ve said good-bye to so many in my family. When i feel these losses i meditate on God’s promise that in eternity he will wipe evey tear from our eye. That reminds me that He feels my sorrow and He longs to comfort me.
She was wonderful, Brenda. Such a woman after the things that pleased the Lord. And yes. That great promise of reunion and of tears wiped away give me hope, as it does for you! Thank you for reading and commenting, means so much! With love and butter, Jess
Mom was always an early riser. One of the things I picked that up from her I guess. I’d often call her and we’d talk about how beautiful the sunrise was. When she left us, there were so so many days I’d reach for my cell to call and talk about the glory of the morning – we still do but it’s a little one sided now. I still dream about her. I miss her deeply. I loved how she would sit on a bar stool in front of the oven with the oven door open and on, wrapped in a blanket, chomping ice from Sonic. She made each of us feel like we were so special, so unique, and so loved.
She so did. She made each one of us feel wanted and special. It had to have stemmed from her understanding of how specially she knew God’s love for her. Wouldn’t you love to make those around you feel unique and loved like she did? I hope I do. I deeply miss her to this day…Love you.
What an incredible tribute. I feel like I now know your Mimi even tho I never had the joy of meeting her.. Ever think about writing a book?
Jan, thank you for the kind and encouraging question! Mimi was a remarkable person. Absolutely remarkable. If I were to write a book, what would you most like to hear me write about? With love and butter, Jess